Twins: A Six Month Review

Jellybean and Macaroni turned six months old today so I thought it would be a good time to sum up the last six months.

I want you to picture something for me. Picture the inside of your house. Briefly, just go room by room…living room furniture sitting in place, bookshelves full of books, your clothes in the closets, laundry baskets, maybe the errant pile of laundry that is somewhere between dirty-clean-put away. There may be some paper clutter in the kitchen. It’s fine. You have a house, you live in it, and it shows. No worries. You know where to find things and you’re hardly a candidate for Hoarders. Now, picture your family. You, your spouse, any pre-existing conditions children, applicable pets…picture all of you standing happily in front of your house, smiling.

It’s a lovely little scene you’ve just imagined. You’ve built this charmingly flawed (nothing is perfect!) life and now you’re going to bring home twins. So, what are those first six months going to be like?

Well, that scene you just pictured…you have to realize that it was built inside a snow globe. So now, pick it up and give it a good shake. Your house is now wrecked…furniture, laundry, children, paperwork, charging cables, shoes…. It’s all everywhere except where it should be, none of it is together, ever. You can’t manage it, you can’t find it, and you can’t fix it. Why? Why can’t you fix it? Because, honey, those glittery bits falling all over over the rubble of your snow globe life…they’re not snow. Those are your brain cells.

Behold, your ability to entertain complex thoughts, tell jokes, form complete sentences, remember anything gently drifting down brain cell by brain cell from the top of the snow globe and eventually disappearing. I once embarrassed myself trying to order Taco Bell from the drive-thru. Also, I’m sorry to say, but we’ve lost three of the five fish.

You’ll figure out how to get your husband, kids, and day to day life and responsibilities sorted out. You really will* no matter what it feels like now, or in the first days or weeks after the babies are born. Hang in there! The whole not remembering thing…that is for real. Do I have a point or a snazzy ending? I might have, but I forgot. Really. Not really. But seriously, you get one thing to make up for your lack of memory: cute babies.

* This does not necessarily apply to laundry. If you get your laundry figured out, please let me know.